I just watched a video about Cameron Diaz posted on this feminist blog, which asked the question, “can a woman be too toned?
Oh, oh, oh, I have the answer! WHO GIVES A FUCK?! For whatever reason, seeing this pathetic excuse for news just made all those years of teen motivation, psycho-babble, “love yourself” bullshit click. You can’t please anyone, so don’t try. Eat your doughnuts, hop off your treadmill and onto your couch, spend all your time on Netflix, put down that hair-dye, set aside that brush, avoid push-up bras at all costs, fart in the face of your friendly, neighborhood Avon lady, and put on your rattiest, most disgusting, sexually repulsive clothes you can find, because chances are, if you did the opposite, people would still complain about how you look anyway. My beauty advice? Give up. You’ll never be hot enough whether you try or not, so you might as well enjoy yourself while not being good enough, instead of watching everyone around you count how many bags of Doritos they can eat in one sitting while you whip out your calculator to count how many calories were in that fat free, sugar free, carb free, crap-on-a-plate delight you just begrudgingly consumed.
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